Not The Same As Yesturday
by Bobalu
Summary: Love will flow, flow like a river.Speak to love, and let it tell you it can't save everything.[Rewrite to Nothing Is Going The Way It Should]
1. Feelings Of Impatience And Fear

**Title:**Not The Same As Yesturday

**Summary:**Love will flow, flow like a river.But speak to love, and listen to it as it tells you it can't save everything.**Rewrite of Nothing Is Going The Way It Should**

**Pairing:**ShigurexTohru, bits of KyoxKagura, YukixMachi.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Fruits Basket. Though I wish I did.-Heart.-

**Warning:**Eventually Language,Violence, Attempted Suicide, Character Death, yatta yatta yatta.

**Note:**I dislike how Nothing Is Going The Way It Should, therefor I am rewriting it.But don't worry, it will be better! I have more practice with writing now, and I planned it out s'more, so it's all good.

**Chapter One**

**Feelings of Impatience and Fear.**

**-Tohru's POV-**

I sighed softly as I looked out the kitchen window.It was Wednesday night and I was currently washing the dishes from dinner.Outside it was pouring rain, and Kyo had gone to the dojo, I guess he'll probably spend the night there.That left Yuki, Shigure and I. Yuki had a 'delayed' student council meeting, he had to go there at 6:00 instead of after school for what reason I don't know.He won't be back anytime soon, so I'm here with alone with Shigure.Dinner was late though, since Akito got better and wanted to talk to him.

Looking at the clock, it read 8:31.I let out another sigh as I started putting away the dishes.Shigure had retreated to his study to work on his manuscript, so he could get it done for tomorrow, do his teasing to Mii-chan, then finally admit it was done.I had so much to do still, though.I had to finish putting these dishes away, do laundry, clean around the house, do my homework, have a bath, and if Yuki-kun or Kyo-kun come back prepare them dinner, then get ready for bed.

I shreiked a little as I dropped a glass on the floor.Bending down I started picking up the pieces until I felt a slight stinging in my hand.Looking at my palm I realized a shard of glass had embeded itself into my hand, and disappeared.Frowning, I finished picking up the pieces of glass and threw them out.I looked around for a bandaid, and to my luck, there was none.

Walking to Shigure's study, I knocked on the door and a second later I heard him tell me to come in."Shigure-san, do we have any bandaids?" I gave him a small smile."No, my dear flower.Why?" Now I have to tell him and he'll phone Hatori and Hatori will come over here, then I'll apologize for bothering him and then ask him for tea or coffee then he'll declinde and leave, then I'll do my work.And I was right.

Showing Shigure my hand, he sighed and said he'll hall 'Ha'ri'.I sat on the couch as I heard him speak into the phone and make gestures with his hands, although Hatori couldn't see it.Hanging up he walked over and sat on the other end of the couch."Ha'ri will be over in five minutes to look at it, 'kay?" He gave me a small smile, and I smiled back nodding.He looked a little worried though, but then again everyone has been a little worried lately.About me, I mean.

I've been more of a clutz lately.They're all probably getting annoyed with it, Expetially Shigure, Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, and mostly Hatori-san.I can't help it, I guess, though it should be easy to be more careful, right?I don't know, I've been thinking and worrying myself.Grandpa has been in the hospital for quite a time, and he's really sick.I'm worried.I'm trying to think positive about it, but it's hard.I'm a bit worried about Kyo too, he confessed he loved me but I told him I loved him like a brother.He was sad, and hasn't been fighting with Yuki.

Normally, I'd be happy about that.But for the reason it is I'm worried, more so sad.We don't talk as much, but we still do talk.I guess he feels awkward about it.But I'm glad he's found love in Kagura, they're not dating but he told her he doesn't hate her, but wants to be friends.Kagura-san was so happy that she cried, and I felt happy for them.She doesn't hurt him anymore now, and he isn't as rude.

And if Yuki decides to confess his love for me, he'll also be heartbroken.I love him like a brother too, but I know he thinks the same as me, as a sister more then a lover now.Everyone can tell he's getting feelings for Machi, so that makes me happy for him.I sighed as someone knocked on the door, Shigure answered it for me.

"Ha'ri! I'm glad your here, my dear Tohru-kun is bleeding!" Shigure cried in his over-dramatic way.I mentally smiled to myself, was he ever serious?"Hello Hatori-kun.I'm sorry for bothering you," I bowed slightly."It's alright Honda-san.Let me see your hand," He had his professional face on.I smiled a bit more, was he ever not serious?I showed him my hand and he held it lightly, watching.Reaching in his bag he grabbed a pair of tweezers and bandages.He pulled the glass out, and gave me the bandages.

"Go wash your hands, Honda-san, then wrap the bandages around it."He ordered, and I nodded walking off to the washroom.I could hear him and Shigure-san talking.I wasn't interested in their conversation, until I heard my name.They were worried about me, as I thought.And surprisingly, Shigure was being serious.

"Ha'ri, I'm worried about Tohru-kun," I could hear the frown in his voice."Aren't we all?" Hatori sighed."She hasn't beem herself.She's hurting herself more, alot of times she's in her own world.Yuki and Kyo have said she hasn't been doing good in class, and she doesn't pay much mind to anything.She's been more silent too.It's worrying me, Ha'ri.What if somethings wrong?She always tells us to speak when something is wrong, to make it better, yet she won't say a thing when somethings wrong with herself."

"I've noticed.I have been coming here quite a bit every week, and I can see it," Hatori's voice sighed.I could see Shigure about to speak, and I figured this could be when I made my enterance.Walking into the room, Shigure smiled at me.

I smiled when I entered, acting as If I hadn't heard anything.Nothing important.No, it was important, to them.I guess everyone _was_ noticing, not much I could do though."Hatori-san, would you like a glass of tea or coffee?" I offered, and surprisingly he accepted.I got him a glass of coffee, then walked away to collect the laundry.

I looked around Yuki's room, and unsurprisingly it was nice and clean.Grabbing the clothes from his hamper I put hem into the asket.I went to Kyo's room next, it was also clean, but not as neat as Yuki's.Taking his laundry as well, I grabbed the clothes from my room.Emptying the clothes onto the floor by the washer, I walked to Shigure's room.It defenitely needed to get cleaned.Shaking my head I grabbed his laundry as well, and sorting it I put a load in and started the machine.

Walking into the livingroom, I sorted the bit of a mess there was.This was the home that had taken me in.I remembered what the house was before I came, and smiled lightly.Looking at the clock, it read 9:03.My smile faded as I went back to cleaning.I was supposed to visit my grandpa.I would have to do it tomorrow, since the rain was still pouring, and I didn't want to bother Hatori anymore.

The rest of the cleaning would have to wait, I was quite tired.Walking into the kitchen were Shigure and Hatori were talking, I spoke, "Shigure-san, I'm going to take a bath, alright?" I smiled, trying to seem happy.I could tell they knew I wasn't."Alright Tohru-kun." Walking away, I closed the bathroom door, and turned on the taps and watched the rising water.When it was done, I pealed off my clothes and placed them in a hamper. Looking in the mirror, I gave a soft groan at my reflection.I looked so ugly as Akito-sama would say.Bags under my eyes, my skin was quite pale, and I had a rather noticeable scar on my cheak.

Slipping into the water, I gave a content sigh at it's warmth, and turned off the facets.Hopefully Yuki-kun would get home soon, it wouldn't be fun sleeping at school, neh?Closing my eyes, I sunk into the water a bit more, enough so that I could still breath.A sudden pain across my chest made me suddenly sit up, and my hand was quickly over my heart.

Of course, it wasn't a heart attack, no, it was a cramp.. right?But then I remember, I had the same pain when my father died, and my mother.My eyes widdened a bit, I hope so bad it's just a cramp.I hope there is no coincidence with it, that might involve grandpa.I couldn't stand losing another loved one, one who shares my blood, my family.Not so soon.

The phone rang just then, and my heart sank more.I hoped to god it wasn't the hospital, or my grandpa's home.Once.Twice.Shigure probably answered it by the fifth ring.I wish to god that I could reverse time, freeze it, or just maybe hear Shigure's conversation.He didn't call for me or anything, so I feel a bit better.I sighed and drained the tub, wrapping a towel around my body.Walking into my room, I put on pajamas.

I stared at the door for what seemed forever.Shigure never came to get me, so it must've been someone else.Slowly I opened the door and walked downstairs, into the kitchen.Shigure and Hatori looked up at me and must have saw my worry, my fear, and both just smiled, Hatori not so much."That was Yuki-kun, he'll be home soon," Shigure grinned.I gave a nod in relief, and a small smile was on my face.I looked around for a moment before the phone rang again, and I froze.My eyes widdened.

Shigure probably sensed I wasn't going to get it, so he answered."Hello, Shigure Sohma speaking." "..Yes, hold on a minute," Shigure covered the phone and turned to me."Tohru-kun.. it's for you." I nodded, and time seemed like it froze when I heard those words I dreaded so much.I wish it would never come."Tohru, grandfather.. he died," My eyes widdened and I nodded, though my cousin could not see.I buest into tears and hung up the phone.Staring at it for what seemed forever.

I fell down to my knees, holding my face in my hands as Yuki entered the kitchen, wet from the rain. Shigure and Yuki rushed to me, and Hatori stood a little behind them.I just continued to cry my eyes out.Why?Why did he have to die?He's the only other family I had that I loved, that loved me.Why him?WHY NOW? I sobbed into Yuki's shirt as he rubbed my back, soothingly.That's all he could do.Shigure was holding me tightly, as I continued to leak out tears.


	2. Stem and Petal

**Title:**Not The Same As Yesturday

**Summary:**Love will flow, flow like a river.But speak to love, and listen to it as it tells you it can't save everything.**Rewrite of Nothing Is Going The Way It Should**

**Pairing:**ShigurexTohru, bits of KyoxKagura, YukixMachi.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Fruits Basket. Though I wish I did.-Heart.-

**Warning:**Eventually Language,Violence, Attempted Suicide, Character Death, yatta yatta yatta.

**Note:**I dislike how Nothing Is Going The Way It Should, therefor I am rewriting it.But don't worry, it will be better! I have more practice with writing now, and I planned it out s'more, so it's all good.

**Chapter Two**

**Stem And Petal**

**-Tohru's POV-**

It's been about three hours since I got the call.My aunt phoned again about an hour after I hung up, asking if I wanted to move back.Do I want to, really? I would be lonely there, and my cousins hate me.I can't stand them, honestly.And, my memories would be erased of the Sohmas, that just made me cry more when Hatori told me that.

I think I'll stay with the Sohmas.They're family to me now, I know them so much more then my actual family. Hana had phoned, but Yuki told her I didn't feel like talking.He'd tell her and Uo about it at school tomorrow, I guess.I know my mom would want me to go to school, but I just can't, not now.Yuki and Kyo insisted on staying with me but I told them to go, that I'd be alright with Shigure.

What time is it now?12:09.I can't get to sleep, it hell.Images of my mom and dad, and grandpa keep popping up in my head when I close my eyes, I don't like it.But I need to sleep if I don't want to get sick.Maybe I should just.. wash my face and get a glass of water.Maybe that'll help?I stood slowly and made my way to the door, opening with caution as if there might be a bear there.

I walked towards the washroom, but froze when I heard voices.Shigure, Hatori and Yuki.They were walking about myself.It doesn't surprise me much, their worried.. I would be too, if a friend of mine was going through this pain...Pain.What am I talking about?The Sohmas..they have it worse then I do, and here I am talking about my pain?Am I being selfish, only rhinking of myself now?God.. I can't become like that.

I shook my head, resting my hands on the wall, trying to grip onto something.My head started spinning, and I could feel my body sway.I fell over as my vision faded, but I had heard Yuki and Shigure call my name.

-Yuki's pov-

"Miss Honda!" I shouted as I saw Tohru collapse.I jumped and grabbed her before she hit the ground, as Shigure shouted her name as well and held her head."Miss Honda.." I muttered silently, studying her face.She looked so ill.Her skin was more pale, and she had red streaks on her cheeks from crying.Her eyes, even closed, were red and she had bags under them.

Why did this happen to her?She was an angel, so pure and innocent.She doesn't deserve this, but, everything happens for a reason.. right?Hatori grabbed a few things from his bag and took her temperature."105.She has a fever, put her in bed.Yuki, get a cloth and a bowl of cold water.Dip the cloth in then rest it on her forehead.Keep her in bed for as well, she'll need it.I'll spend the night just in case it gets worse, alright?And no matter what, do not let her cook or clean, nothing.Got it?" He glared at Shigure and I.

We nodded as a yes, and I ran downstairs to get a bowl.Filling it with water and grabbing a cloth, I put it in the bowl.Walking back upstairs I rested the bowl on her headboard.Grabbing the cloth I rang it, then placed it neatly on her forehead.Even when she was ill she looked like an angel.. sweet and caring.Resting my hand on her shoulder, I slowly rubbed it with my fingers.

I could feel her boder shaking.I looked at Hatori and he looked back."Get a sheet, so we can put something on her.The blanket wouldn't be as good of an idea for now," He told me and I nodded, going to get a sheet."Where does Shigure keep the sheets?..Ah, the laundry room.Miss Honda did laundry, so there'll be some clean sheets there.." I said to myself, looking for a sheet.

I grabbed a small but fluffy looking sheet and went back upstairs, slowly placing it on her.She wasn't shaking as much, but she was still shaking.I frowned looking down at her."Miss Honda.. get better," I mummbled sadly."We should get to bed ourselves, so we don't get sick.Good night," Hatori said as he and Shigure left the room, and I followed shortly after.

-Tohrus POV-

_I looked around.Where was I?I was standing in the middle of a field, near a small river with flowers.I turned around, and saw my mother, my father.. and grandpa.I smiled and ran to them."Mom! Dad! GRANDPA!" I yelled as I ran into their arms.They all had warm smiles, and said my name together."Mom.." I cried into her chest."Hush, it's alright now," She said into my hair._

_I looked at my dad, and let go of mother, and hugged him."Hello, dear Tohru-chan," He smiled at me.I looked up and smiled."Dad.." "What about me?" My grandpa laughed lightly.I turned around and hugged him tightly.'I'm dreaming..I must be.. or am I.. dead?' As if mother heard my thoughts, she shook her head and let out a small laugh."Dreaming my dear, but don't worry.Even if we don't seem like we're there in reality.We're always here, in your heart.Be strong, Tohru."_

_I looked up to my mom and smiled, letting go of Grandpa.They started fading backwards, and I looked at them in confussion."Hey, where are you going?" I cried and gran towards them, but they disappeared all to soon._

_Everything around me spun, fading into nothingness.I looked around, I couldn't see a thing.MY hands were wet and I was cold.A stinging pain shot throughout my body.I looked at my hands, I could faintly see red.Blood.My eyes widdened.I was bleeding?!Then I heard laughter.That laughter that would give anyone the creaps, and my eyes blurred.Did he do this?Did he take them away?No.. he couldn't have.But yet there he was, there I saw him, their bodies around him.Bleeding._

_I tried to scream at him, tell him to stop it as I saw him choke my mother.Nothing came out of my mouth.My eyes widdened more.My mother stopped screaming, and I burst in tears.I still couldn't utter a word.I looked at her body.Bruises and cuts, chains on her wrists and ankles.I looked at my dad and father.They were right by her, puddles of blood under them all.A knife stuck out of my fathers stomach._

_Grandpa was hanging from the ceiling, rope tied around his neck.There were marks all over his body, and his clothes were torn.Blood dripped from where the rope was.I realized one of his hands was halfway off.I began shaking more, tears escaping my eyes._

_Mother lay limply on the floor. I looked closer to her body and realized something.She was naked.He raped her!I noticed the blood from where the chains were, and blood coming from her neck...mouth, and chest.Some on her hips, too._

_Father was in a corner.There was a deep cut in his shoulder to his wrist.His head was twisted to the side, a cut on his neck.His eyes were wide open, filled with fear and pain.The shaking increased.His eyes also resembles hate, sadness and anger, betrayal and.. they showed a hint of.. joy?_

_I shook my head and cried more.How could anyone do such a terrible thing?Then he turned to me and smirked.I tried to move, tried to scream at him, but still nothing.He came closer and slapped me hard across the face, spitting at me."You're a monster, a SLUT.Who do you think you are?You deserve to DIE.You don't deserve them, you don't deserve SMUT!" He yelled at me, grabbing his already bloodied knife._

_I screamed at the top of my lungs, this time sound coming out.Right when the knife came down at me everything went black.I fell to the ground on my side, my breathing quick and hard.Where was I now?_

-Shigures POV-

I shot straight up in bed as I heard Tohru scream."Tohru!" I shouted as I ran to her beside her as I entered her room, Yuki and Hatori came in a second later, looking as worried as I did."Tohru-kun.. are you okay?" I asked her as she looked at me."It was just a nightmare.. just a.. horrible.. nightmare," She sniffled.Her eyes began to water and tears rolled down her cheeks, tear after tear.

I slowly wipped the tears away with my thumb, looking at her."What happened?" I asked, giving her a half-hug."I.. I saw my parents, and grandpa.I was happy, so happy.But they faded away, and everything was.. gone.I-itt was dark, h-he was there.. he.. he killed them! I couldn't talk o-or move! He turned to me and said I was a..a monster, a slut.That I des-s-erved to die, then grabbed a.. kni-i-ife.. and brought it down at m-me then I s-creamed, and woke up.." She breathed in deeply as I rubbed her back, just looking at her.She was crying more now, shaking violently.

"He.." Yuki was going to ask, but didn't.It was obvious with what he called who, who she spoke of.She nodded and slowly said his name, her voice filled with so much venom it shocked me."Akito." It was silent, but we heard it clearly.Hatori sighed and rubbed his head, looking to the sighed.I looked at him and he simply shrugged.I sighed under my breath, turning back to Tohru.She was clutching her blanket for her life.Poor girl..

"Do I.. deserve to die too.." She said bellow a whisper, not meant for us to hear.But I did.My eyes widdened a little."Yuki, Ha'ri, let me talk to you for a second.Tohru-kun, we'll be right back.. need anything?" She shook her head no, so I grabbed Yuki and Ha'ri's arms and dragged them out of the room, closing the door.

"What do you want?" Yuki grumbled."Tohru-kun.. she thinks that she does deserve to die.She muttered it." I sighed and looked at the door."..." They said nothing, but both had a sad look in their eyes.I nodded and opened the door."Tohru-kun, go back to sleep.We'll stay here until you do," I smiled at her.

She weakly turned her head to me and nodded, laying back down.The cloth falling off the bed, I grabbed it and soaked it again, replacing it on her forehead."Goodnight, Tohru-kun," I said softly with a small yet sad smile."..Night.." She replied with a yawn, eyes closing slightly.

-Tohrus POV-

I watched as they left my room and sighed.I slowly stood up silently and walked over to my window.'Oh okaa-san..' I sighed inwardly and looked at my door, then back to the window.I slowly opened the window and without a sound, got onto the ledge and dropped to the ground,landing on my butt.I slowly stood back up and rubbed the dirt off,and looking back and forth, just in case someone for whatever reason would be there.

I walked on towards the street, hiding behind things on my way.I knew nobody would check on me until morning, and since Hatori was spending the night I didn't have to worry so much yet.. right?I let out a soft groan as the cold wind nipped at my skin.I looked down to my feet, I should have probably grabbed shoes, but, that would be too much noise and I was already out of the house, anyways.

I continued walking around aimlessly until I came upon gates.Looking up at the building that was my school.I remembered a way to get up without having to go inside, and I walked to the side of the building.Tightly gripping the drain pipes and sticking my feet in the dents of the building, I climbed up the roof regardless of the pains that shot through my feet.I sighed as I stepped over the edge, although I was happy no one was around.Walking to the front of the building I looked over the edge, it seemed ten times higher from up here, and it kinda scared me.

A silent sigh escaped my lips as I closed my eyes, becoming tired.I slowly sat down with my back against the ledge, and drifted into a slumber.

-Yuki's POV-

I grumbled to myself as I turned off my alarm.It was 6:59, and besides that Honda-kun was feeling upset, I knew she'd be in the kitchen.I walked downstairs and looking around, I didn't see her."Must be in her room," I gave a small smile and walking to her room, I opened her door.My eyes widdened at what I saw.Or should I say, what I didn't see."Hatori! Shigure!" I screamed as loud as I could.

Hearing some groans and other noises, then feet running up behind me I turned around."What is it, Yuki?" Hatori sighed."Honda-kun.. she isn't.. she isn't here!" I cried.Both of their eyes widdened and they jumped slightly, looking into the room.Then we noticed the window was open."Did she leave or.. was someone here?" Shigure asked looking around."I don't know! If I knew I wouldn't just be standing here!" I screamed at him, then running downstairs I started putting my shoes on."Where are you going?" Hatori came up behind me, Shigure to his left.

What do you think?! I'm going to look for her," I kept on screaming, and ran out the door.The other two followed me quickly.We were probably running around for an hour until I found out where she must've been.We had gone to the Dojo and Kyou and Kasuma came with us to look for her, we went to the main house but no one else saw her there, so Haru came but we made sure no one else did.We had also gone to Uo and Hana's, but even they did not know.

We ran into the school yard, when Hana froze."Her waves.. they're very strong from here," She spoke in her monotone voice, turning towards the roof.We all ran straight towards the building when Uo choked out Tohru's name.We all turned around and saw her staring at the roof.Following her gaze, my eyes widdened.Honda-kun was st anding on the ledge of the roof, her arms spread out and her hair blowing in the wind.Even in this situation, she still looked like an angel from down here.

-Tohru's POV-

I opened my eyes with a sigh, and felt the wind pushing me around.Should I jump?I looked down with my eyes and saw my friends.I gasped.. they were there.Uo, Hana, Yuki, Kyou, Haru, Hatori, Shigure, Kasuma.. looking towards the gates I noticed Momiji along with Kisa and Hiro... they must have followed.Other students were arriving as well, staring up at me.

I frowned.I didn't want anyone to be here, looking at me.I saw the worried and sorrowful looks on their faces and my body shook.A small smile crept onto my face.. they cared about me.I had no reason to jump.Closing my eyes I put my arms down, along with another sigh.I looked back down and noticed they had run into the building.About two minutes later the roof door burst open, and I turned my head slightly.I smiled at them softly, they all looks worried, sad.. shocked.

"Honda-kun.." Yuki was the first to speak, staring into my eyes."You weren't going to fall.. were you onee-chan?" Kisa asked, walking towards me but stopped two metres away.She looked betrayed, it pained my heart."..No, of course not," I lied, which made it hurt so much more."Tohru you.. what do you think Kyoko-san would think of this?!" Uo frowned."Mom.. wouldn't be happy, but she's not here," I said, looking forwards."No one truely is.." I added to myself silently.

"Tohru.. come down will ya?" Kyo said, pain clear in his voice as well.I nodded silently, and stepped off the ledge and falling into the embraced of Uo and Hana.They loved me, these peoples.. they were here for me.. not yet, could I love them.I snuggled into the hug, and small tears escaped my eyes.Kisa ran up to me and gripped my leg, also crying.

-Hana's POV-

Tohru felt frozen, and I frowned.She was getting more sick, and her waves.. theyj ust showed pain and betrayal, hatred and depression.But there was that love and happiness in there.I sighed mentally, and we broke our huge, besides the small girl who still clung to Tohru.

I frowned, how could I have not noticed the waves earlier?But, she was starting to be happier, although I was still curious of the one certain part of love that reflected on it.Love in ways more then just friendship.If only I knew, so I could help her out.Tohru.. she's like a sister to me, I would die if I lost her.

I'm pretty sure everyone thinks the same thing of her, many not so much the sister-part, but the part they were to die if I.. they... we lost her.She had brought us all together, made us friends.She helped the Sohmas lives get better That much I can tell, she had shown everyone love and understanding, acceptance.She made everyone happy when they were sad, and was always positive.. so warm hearted.

She was what held us all together.Like the stem on a flower, without the stem we'd just be a bunch of petals.


End file.
